Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Friday, June 30, 2023
Adoption Freezes
Right now Ukraine is not processing adoptions due to the ongoing war. I am very sad about that situation because there are literally thousands of orphans in Ukraine. I had some online friends who adopted 3 boys from Ukraine, and thankfully they were able to get them all home. Two of them were allowed to go home just before the conflict started, but the last boy had to stay behind because of paperwork issues. He was escorted to Poland with other orphan refugees, and his American adoptive family had to go to Poland to find him. He was located and his adoption was finalized. He is now home.
China is also not processing adoptions, citing COVID restrictions. As the rest of the world has lowered their COVID protocols, China is still not relenting. I do understand because after all, the virus did start there. Unfortunately, the orphans are still not being adopted out. I hope that changes soon. I would think that with COVID, they would want to process adoptions all the more, so that the orphanages will be less crowded.
Russia has not had any adoptions processed for a decade now because of Putin's anger at the Magnitsky Act. It is ia tragedy that children are being used as political pawns. Many orphans have since aged out and been turned out to the streets. Some lucker ones got adopted domestically or were united with family members. Those orphans with special needs are typically still in institutions.
Monday, October 24, 2022
Blog History
For a few years this blog address belonged to someone else. This blog was written by a troll who wanted to stop international adoption, or at least put an end to certain adoption charities and agencies. The person wrote post after post about certain adoptive families he or she would find online, criticizing those families for adopting these children from other countries and about their practices. The person sometimesposted personal information about these families.
To this day I do not know who this individual is. I have an idea that it must be a person who was adopted internationally and is bitter about their experience as an adoptee. It could also be an adoptive parent who is angry at their experience of adopting. Maybe they were matched with a child and were not able to adopt that child after all. They could have also brought a child home and the adoption did not work out. Whatever that person's situation is, that individual had a lot of bitter feelings. He or she thought that by putting other families down and working to shut down adoption charities and agencies, the person's frustrations could go away. None of that worked. The adoption charity that person criticized so much is still running all these years later. Those agencies are nearly all still working. With Russian adoption closing at the end of 2012, some agencies did close as a result, because much of their income came from Russian adoptions.
Some things that the troll and some other trolls complain about online:
1. Criticizing adoptive families for bringing home 2 or more unrelated children home at the same time.
There are many adoptive families who have taken 2 or more children home at once, often from the same orphanage, and they have successfully raised those children.
2. Criticizing adoptive families for using more than one charity to raise funds for their adoption.
That is the business of those charities to decide how they feel about that. It is also not cheap to bring childre home from overseas.
3. Criticizing adoptive families who disrupted their adoptions.
Nobody adopts a child to decide later on that they cannot raise that child after all. Sometimes things do happen that makes a family need to dissolve the adoption. That could be when the adopted child is abusive to other children in the home. Some children have RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) which makes bonding difficult. Whatever the reasons are, it is the business of the adoptive family and not anyone else.
4. Showing anger at families adopting children they hosted from Ukraine.
Ukraine does not allow holds on orphans before the adoptions go through court. That means that a family cannot choose a child to adopt before going to Ukraine to adopt the child and expect that the child will definitely be theirs. However, that does not mean that a family cannot have a child in mind before going to Ukraine. They just have to remember that the child could be adopted by another family first, or else go into foster care first. There have been many families who hosted Ukrainian children and later traveled to Eastern Europe to bring them home. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
5. Blaming families when their adopted child with special needs later died from their medical problems.
This former blog owner shamed families who had children die. There is nothing worse than having to bury a child. These families do send their kids to doctors and have had surgeries and treatments done on them. Sometimes the child's medical needs are too great and their body can no longer keep going. Unfortunately, the institutions where these children came from were places of abuse and neglect. Even though they get better treatment in their new countries, the neglect and malnutrition they dealt with before cannot be fully reversed.
6. Saying that some families have too many children at home.
That is for the family and social services to decide.
The truth is, that is none of that troll's business. That person obviously has a miserable existence. When all people can do is criticize other people, then they have low self-esteem. When we are hurt by other people and circumstances, we have to heal and move on. We can't keep trying to hurt other people in revenge. Often, it does not work anyway and we can hurt ourselves even more in the process.
I do hope this person has moved on, hopefully gotten some help, and is doing well now.
To this day I do not know who this individual is. I have an idea that it must be a person who was adopted internationally and is bitter about their experience as an adoptee. It could also be an adoptive parent who is angry at their experience of adopting. Maybe they were matched with a child and were not able to adopt that child after all. They could have also brought a child home and the adoption did not work out. Whatever that person's situation is, that individual had a lot of bitter feelings. He or she thought that by putting other families down and working to shut down adoption charities and agencies, the person's frustrations could go away. None of that worked. The adoption charity that person criticized so much is still running all these years later. Those agencies are nearly all still working. With Russian adoption closing at the end of 2012, some agencies did close as a result, because much of their income came from Russian adoptions.
Some things that the troll and some other trolls complain about online:
1. Criticizing adoptive families for bringing home 2 or more unrelated children home at the same time.
There are many adoptive families who have taken 2 or more children home at once, often from the same orphanage, and they have successfully raised those children.
2. Criticizing adoptive families for using more than one charity to raise funds for their adoption.
That is the business of those charities to decide how they feel about that. It is also not cheap to bring childre home from overseas.
3. Criticizing adoptive families who disrupted their adoptions.
Nobody adopts a child to decide later on that they cannot raise that child after all. Sometimes things do happen that makes a family need to dissolve the adoption. That could be when the adopted child is abusive to other children in the home. Some children have RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) which makes bonding difficult. Whatever the reasons are, it is the business of the adoptive family and not anyone else.
4. Showing anger at families adopting children they hosted from Ukraine.
Ukraine does not allow holds on orphans before the adoptions go through court. That means that a family cannot choose a child to adopt before going to Ukraine to adopt the child and expect that the child will definitely be theirs. However, that does not mean that a family cannot have a child in mind before going to Ukraine. They just have to remember that the child could be adopted by another family first, or else go into foster care first. There have been many families who hosted Ukrainian children and later traveled to Eastern Europe to bring them home. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
5. Blaming families when their adopted child with special needs later died from their medical problems.
This former blog owner shamed families who had children die. There is nothing worse than having to bury a child. These families do send their kids to doctors and have had surgeries and treatments done on them. Sometimes the child's medical needs are too great and their body can no longer keep going. Unfortunately, the institutions where these children came from were places of abuse and neglect. Even though they get better treatment in their new countries, the neglect and malnutrition they dealt with before cannot be fully reversed.
6. Saying that some families have too many children at home.
That is for the family and social services to decide.
The truth is, that is none of that troll's business. That person obviously has a miserable existence. When all people can do is criticize other people, then they have low self-esteem. When we are hurt by other people and circumstances, we have to heal and move on. We can't keep trying to hurt other people in revenge. Often, it does not work anyway and we can hurt ourselves even more in the process.
I do hope this person has moved on, hopefully gotten some help, and is doing well now.
Wednesday, September 14, 2022
New Blog
For a long time, this blog was run by a troll. This person worked to destroy adoption. This person followed other adoptive family's blogs and various adoption charities, and made posts to try to "expose" those people and to criticize those organizations and families. Post after post was about criticizing adoptive specific adoptive families and organizations. Thankfully, that person finally shut their blog down, or else it was closed by Blogger. That individual who ran this blog obviously had a very boring life, to spend all that time to cut down adoptive families.
Here I want to help the orphans. I want to show that they all matter.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
The Blog is Up and Running Again!
Hello everyone, the blog is up and running again! I will post some new things next week.
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